Communication vs. “Foolish Pride” – Balance Between Words and Silence

Sunday, September 13th, 2009 at 2:58 am

Have you ever had a great relationship come to an end simply because the two of you did not seem to be on the same wave length when it came to communicating? No need to point any fingers. I think we have all been there. We live and We learn!

Personally, most of my relationships have failed due to inadequate amounts of communication. Do men have this same problem? I’m not really sure. I’ve never dated a man. That’s why I’m asking you: My Audience! This would the “perfecto” time to get involved. Please let me know what you think down below in the comment section. (After finishing reading of course.)

Anyway, with the exception of my shy, introverted childhood years, I have been rather assertive and outspoken my whole life. Sometimes it has even gotten me into trouble. I had to begin going above and beyond in each situation to make sure that I was locating the adequate amount of talk and silence. Intentions are a great way to determine whether you should say something or not!

So many say that the wise man says less because the more he speaks, the less wise he is perceived to be. (I believe in this concept whole heartedly)
HOWEVER, When it comes to a relationship, its more notable to be deemed a fool than to lose your love because you were holding back in the communication department. Have you ever heard the song, “Foolish Pride” by Travis Tritt? It’s just like that. Whether you know the song or not, I think you would agree that you would be more of a fool to “not say anything” when “something needs to be said.”

Anyway, I would suggest that when you feel like there is something important or vital that needs to be addressed, as long as it will not hurt anybody, go ahead and say it. This also applies to constructive criticism. Sometimes a less than desired comment can go a long way to help somebody improve something, especially when it comes to business. However, at the same time, use courtesy and respect. Truly remember that the word “constructive” is a part of that equation. (“Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you may also be tempted. Carry each others burdens and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.“ Gal. 6:1,2) It is always crucial to be ASSERTIVE yet not AGGRESSIVE.

But the wise man says less and you want me to talk more?

Ahhh! Being assertive, even though (usually entails), does not (mean) talking more. The object is to find the proper balance between words and silence. Think of it as an art. Here is an example:

There is a shoe laying half way up a flight of stairs. You absolutely need to go and retrieve it. It is necessary for you to do so because somebody could trip and fall, therefore you “have good reasoning” behind performing this action, but you only need to go “half way” up the stairs. If you went the rest of the way, you’d be just going “out of your way”. (and in the case of communication may hinder the entire situation if you were to go further up the stairs.)

There is a certain level of communication that is beneficial (and your goal is to reach it in all circumstances), however if you go beyond that, it can have negative repercussions.

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God Bless,
Curt Bizelli